in that moment - i'll smile

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

there are moments.  a glance up into the sky.  the way a certain person walks.  a memory.  just driving.  these moments just happen.  and the tears.  they fall.  all i can really say is i get it now.  i've never dealt with loss this close before.  and i understand.  life definitely goes on.  and you carry a part of those you've lost with you every day.  whether you realize it at that moment or not.  they are forever with you.  and right now it is all still so new.  so fresh.  raw.  when i have those moments my heart still aches.  my tears still fall.  but i've noticed.  that i will also smile sometimes too.  because although i miss my papa and my aunt more than my words will ever be able to express.  they make me smile.  even though i can't hold their hand or give them a hug.  i can give them a smile - and i know they are smiling too.
More smiles from some of my favorite friends.    The little rain cloud says "crap" underneath it.


Frances said...

Oh, Bonnie. Hugs. I love that rain cloud card. Isn't that exactly how we feel sometimes? Loss, especially through death, changes you. The world isn't quite what it was before. How dear it is that we are able to love so deeply that it HURTS when the loved one is gone. In the end, there isn't a lot in life that really MATTERS. But love ... love matters. I'm so glad you are able to have smiling moments ... and are able to give them, too. May your heart continue to heal, and may many more of those smiling memories find their way from your heart to your lips.

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